Paperback ✓ Artemis Fowl PDF/EPUB Ö


Artemis Fowl Twelve year old Artemis Fowl is a millionaire, a genius, and above all, a criminal mastermind But even Artemis doesn t know what he s taken on when he kidnaps a fairy, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Unit These aren t the fairies of bedtime stories they re dangerous Full of unexpected twists and turns, Artemis Fowl is a riveting, magical adventure 99c Kindle sale, Oct 11, 2018 A solid, amusing start to this YA fantasy series, about a twelve year old millionaire evil genius Okay, he s not really evil, but he is into criminal heists, especially since the family wealth is gone, his father has disappeared, and his mother is mentally ill, out of touch with reality So Artemis, having used his brilliant mind to figure out that fairies are real, decides to restore the family fortune by kidnapping a fairy and holding him or her for for ransom 99c Kindle sale, Oct 11, 2018 A solid, amusing start to this YA fantasy series, about a twelve year old millionaire evil genius Okay, he s not really evil, but he is into criminal heists, especially since the family wealth is gone, his father has disappeared, and his mother is mentally ill, out of touch with reality So Artemis, having used his brilliant mind to figure out that fairies are real, decides to restore the family fortune by kidnapping a fairy and holding him or her for for ransom Fairy gold, that s the ticket Now Artemis and his assistants are up against the military and police forces of faerie The resulting conflicts are both funny and tension filled It s kind of like Mission Impossible with a magical element and a hidden society of magical folk Recommended I ve read the first four books got them in a paperback set and enjoyed all of them i managed to decipher the code written below the book so for those who are interestedread on THE PROPHECIES OF OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO FROND ELFEN KING I AM OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO THE KING BUT I AM MUCH MORE THAN THAT FOR I SEE THE FUTURE WRITTEN IN THE PHLEGM FOR CENTURIES, WE PIXIES HAVE READ THE PHLEGM, BUT I AM THE BEST THERE HAS EVER BEEN MY VISIONS ARE GENERALLY OF LITTLE IMPORTANCE I FORETELL OUTBREAKS OF TROLL POX OR GAS SPASMS AMONG ELDERLY DWARFS BUT SOMETIMES EVEN A POOR i managed to decipher the code written below the book so for those who are interestedread on THE PROPHECIES OF OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO FROND ELFEN KING I AM OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO THE KING BUT I AM MUCH MORE THAN THAT FOR I SEE THE FUTURE WRITTEN IN THE PHLEGM FOR CENTURIES, WE PIXIES HAVE READ THE PHLEGM, BUT I AM THE BEST THERE HAS EVER BEEN MY VISIONS ARE GENERALLY OF LITTLE IMPORTANCE I FORETELL OUTBREAKS OF TROLL POX OR GAS SPASMS AMONG ELDERLY DWARFS BUT SOMETIMES EVEN A POOR POT CLEANER CAN SEE WONDROUS THINGS A VISION CAME TO ME TWO MOONS AGO, WHEN I WAS GAZING DEEP INTO HIS MAJESTY S OWN PHLEGM POT I WAS HEATING THE POT OVER A FLAME WHEN THE SIGN APPEARED THIS VISION WAS MORE VIVID AND DETAILED THAN ANY I HAD PREVIOUSLY SEEN BECAUSE OF ITS IMPORTANCE, I DECIDED TO WRITE IT DOWN FOR POSTERITY AND SO I CAN SAY I TOLD YOU SO I SAW AN AGE WHEN THE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DRIVEN UNDERGROUND BY THE MUD MEN THIS IS WHAT THE PHLEGM TOLD ME IN THIS TIME, ONE SHALL COME AMONG US FOWL BY NAME AND FOUL BY NATURE A MUD MAN UNLIKE ANY OTHER HE SHALL LEARN OUR SECRETS AND USE THEM AGAINST US I SEE HIM NOW AS PLAIN AS DAY HIS FACE IS PALE, HE HAS DARK EYES AND RAVEN HAIR YET IT MUST BE A MISTAKE FOR HE SEEMS A MERE YOUTH SURELY NO MUD BOY COULD OUTWIT THE PEOPLE BUT NOW I SEE THAT THE BOY IS NOT ALONE HE IS AIDED BY A FORMIDABLE WARRIOR SCARRED FROM A THOUSAND BATTLES THIS FOWL SHALL HOLD THE PEOPLE TO RANSOM FOR THEIR MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION GOLD AND IN SPITE OF ALL OUR MAGIC, THERE IS A CHANCE THAT HE WILL PREVAIL FOR HE HAS DISCOVERED HOW TO ESCAPE THE TIME FIELD, UNFORTUNATELY, HOW THE STORY ENDS I CANNOT SAY BUT THERE WAS MORE TO SEE THERE IS ANOTHER STORY TO COME, SOMEONE WILL BRING THE PEOPLE AND MUD MEN TOGETHER THE WORST OF BOTH RACES THIS FAIRYS GOAL IS TO GRIND ALL THE CREATURES OF THE EARTH BENEATH HIS BOOT AND WHO IS THIS TRAITOR, IT IS NOT CLEAR BUT HE SHALL START A WAR UNLIKE ANYTHING THE PEOPLE HAVE EVER SEEN THOSE WHO WERE ENEMIES SHALL BE UNITED AGAINST HIM AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THERE WILL BE MUD MEN BELOW GROUND I HAVE ONE CLUE TO HIS IDENTITY, A RIDDLE GOBLINS SHALL RISE AND HAVEN SHALL FALL, A VILLAINOUS ELF IS BEHIND IT ALL TO FIND THE ONE WHO SO DISAPPOINTS LOOK YE TO WHERE THE FINGER POINTS INSTEAD OF ONE FACE THIS ELF HAS TWO BOTH SPEAK FALSE AND NONE SPEAK TRUE WHILE PUBLICLY HE LENDS A HELPING HAND, HIS TRUE AIM IS TO SEIZE COMMAND I KNOW IT S NOT VERY PLAIN IS IT I DON T UNDERSTAND EITHER BUT PERHAPS IN THE FUTURE ALL WILL BECOME CLEAR LOOK FOR A POWER HUNGRY ELF WHO HAS A FINGER POINTED TO HIM DURING OUR TALE AND SO THIS IS OHM S LEGACY A WARNING THAT MAY SAVE THE WORLD FROM TOTAL DESTRUCTION THERE S NOT MUCH TO WORK WITH I KNOW THE DETAILS ARE A BIT SKETCHY MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO CONSULT THE PHLEGM IT MAY BE THAT YOU ARE SENSITIVE I HAVE BURIED THIS PROPHECY WITH MY PHLEGM POT IF YOU ARE NOT FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO WORK AS A POT CLEANER, THEN THERE IS USUALLY A SUPPLY OF PHLEGM EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A COLD HERE END ETH THE FIRST PROPHECIES OF OHM BUT BECAUSE OF THE IMPORTANCE OF MY VISIONS, I SHALL REPEAT THE PROPHECIES ONCE MORE IF YOU HAVE JUST BEGUN TO UNDERSTAND THE TEXT THEN READ ON IF YOU HAVE WORKED OUT THE ENTIRE MESSAGE THEN CONGRATULATIONS NOW GO AND SAVE THE WORLD.this was written in the book at least 3 times A 81% Very Good NotesIronically, it s the supernatural characters that follow familiar archetypes, while the humans are strange and atypical. This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here I had heard some mothers in a bookstore talking about Artemis Fowl and how good it was, so I finally gave in and bought the first book Summary Artemis Fowl is a child genius billionaire criminal mastermind who has discovered that fairies and the like are real and is seeking to exploit them He does this by kidnapping a LEPrecon for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance The Lower Elements live underground, having been driven there by the Mud People or humans I decided that the book was n I had heard some mothers in a bookstore talking about Artemis Fowl and how good it was, so I finally gave in and bought the first book Summary Artemis Fowl is a child genius billionaire criminal mastermind who has discovered that fairies and the like are real and is seeking to exploit them He does this by kidnapping a LEPrecon for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance The Lower Elements live underground, having been driven there by the Mud People or humans I decided that the book was not good in the first few pages The writing is not up to par Some of the dialogue seems like it came from two six year olds arguing about whose laser gun was better, when in fact all they have are cheap squirt guns A child s imagination is an amazing thing, but the words they use to describe their imagination is quite another In addition to the bad writing and dialogue, the plot is also poorly structured But what makes me really angry about this book is the attempt to brainwash kids through literature I am not opposed to teaching children morals and values through stories, in fact that is the way it has been done for centuries, but this book goes above and beyond what is acceptable The author, Eoin Colfer, is trying to teach children to take care of the environment by contrasting the ideal encourage friendly fairy society with the evil polluting dirty dolphin and puppy killing human society In attempting this, he appears to be repulsed by not just pollution but of the whole human race Keep in mind that Mud People is the Fairy term for human being, a term that send to come straight out of Nazi propaganda against Jews When characters in Harry Potter called Hermione a mudblood, it was clear those characters were evil In Artemis, it is the most likeable, most good character that uses that term Mud People to describe humans Let me share some additional passages with you If the Mud People knew about leprechauns they d probably take steps to stamp them out Pg 33 Mud People bred like rodents Pg 50 The Mud People destroyed everything they came in contact with Pg 50 The only good thing about going to the toilet was the minerals being returned to the earth, but the Mud People had even managed to botch that up by treating the stuff with bottles of blue chemicals Pg 50 She could see the pollution in the dolphins , bleaching their skin white and giving them red sores on their backs And although she smiled, her heart was breaking Mud People had a lot to answer for Pg 68 The smell of death and pain lingered in the blood swabbed decks Many noble creatures had died here, died and been dissected for a few bars of soap and some heating oil Humans were such barbarians Pg 105 The Mud People had greased the hinges of the whaling boat with whale blubber Was there no end to their depravity Pg 106 Mud People have been stealing from us for millennia Why do you think we live underground Pg 120 unless the Mud People had learned to coexist with other species And if history had taught any lessons it was that humans couldn t get along with anyone, even themselves Pg 125 I d say there was some human blood in you In describing a fairy who was a little trigger happy Then later, he apologized because, it had been a deeply offensive insult Pg 128 No one built weapons of cruelty like the Mud Men Pg 265 I recognize that the types of humans described in the above passages do in fact exist, but not all humans are like that, and we are getting better But a 7 year old reading this book can t help but come away with a deep loathing for all the other humans who are killing dolphins and destroying the Earth And again, I think that teaching kids to take good care of the other is a movie endeavor for a work of fiction This book just appears to go way too far But you know what I would like to do now, I would like to debate Mr Colfer s accusations on humanity using the fairy world he created for her book First, a basic history of human fairy relations, according to Colfer Fairies descended from Pterodactyls, and lived peacefully on earth for many millennia until the humans evolved The fairies called these humans, Mud People, because they lived in the mud The humans apparently could not help but try and kill the fairies Cuz humans are b evil by nature Instead of fighting or teaching the humans, the fairies withdrew underground and ceded the surface to this new evil species that would spend the next thousands of years systematically destroyingand all that the Fairy folk love The fairies live underground going deeper and deeper as we humans mine and drillandThe fairies only return to the surface to replenish their magic Now, answer me this, if you care about something, would you fight for it or would you run and hide Me, I would fight for it, and it seems that the fairies would too They don t want to see living creatures destroyed That is the basis for the plot of the book, but for some reason, the fairies decided to hide, while the mud people destroy the earth that they care about so much.I say fight, but there might be other options Education, sharing of technology, etc All we know is that they are not fighting or doing anything really The fairies complain about our destruction and pollution of earth However, the main fairy in the book at one point uses gasoline powered wings they strap onto their backs Now granted, they were an old pair of wings, all the newer wings are solar powered, but the fact that they had at one point used gasoline, and are still using gasoline in older modeled wings, indicates that they are partially responsible for the green house gases and other pollution associated with drilling and refining oil They only switched to solar recently The main fairy also complains about the human s sewage treatment What would the fairies propose that we do with our sewage besides treating it so it doesn t breed disease that isn t just harmful to humans We create so much that the earth cannot biodegrade it quickly enough to keep disease from breeding in it Now, if we had the magic power to heal, like the fairies, then maybe we could just let it return to earth naturally, and get healed from any adverse effects However, the fairies won t share even healing magic with the mud people At one point, author says that no one builds weapons of cruelty like the humans, yet, throughout the book, Colfer describes fairy weapons like a Neutrino 2000 which is a platinum nuclear handgun that has three settings, scorched, well done, and crisped to a cinder It seems like a pretty cruel weapon for just one person to weild Not only that, but the gun will continue to work for well over a thousand years, so not only can you use it to kill many things, but should you die or lose it, it will continue to work in the hands of others for a millenium But the worst weapon the fairies have invented which seems muchcruel than anything humans have yet created, is a Blue Rinse , which is a biological bomb that destroys only living tissue, leaving the landscape unchanged Can you imagine All the benefits of Hiroshima, without all the bad side effects like destroying a city And what s worse is that while we have used the nuclear bomb only twice, the fairies use the blue rinse on rare occasions That sounds a lotfrequent than twice I don t know about you, but it sounds like the fairies are just as capable as humans in the production of weapons of cruelty But this whole review argument is stupid There are no fairies with magic powers, and if they do exist, they have decided not to help us So, it is up to us humans to work things out on our own While there have been some bad things in our past, what matters now is our present, and what we do from here on out, and I would like to say that in spite of it all, we are doing a pretty good job Humans are good creatures, created in the image of God We are imperfect, but on the whole, we are all striving for perfection every day And that is all I have to say about that

  • Paperback
  • 396 pages
  • Artemis Fowl
  • Eoin Colfer
  • English
  • 11 February 2017
  • 0786817879

About the Author: Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer pronounced Owen was born in Wexford on the South East coast of Ireland in 1965, where he and his four brothers were brought up by his father and mother, who were both educators.He received his degree from Dublin University and began teaching primary school in Wexford He has lived and worked all over the world, including Saudi Arabia, Tunisia and Italy After the publication of the Artemis Fowl novels, Eoin retired from teaching and now writes full time He lives in Ireland with his wife and two children.


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